Self-Evaluation Questions (GS 674)

Self-Evaluation Questions
What are the 10 most important elements of your work and why?
I could break it down to four things, 1. the present moment, 2. materials 3. relationships within continuums*, and (specifically in regard to the work I’m doing for my final project) 4. moving my body.

1. I have always been most fascinated by art as artifact, a record of a moment. The mindset of the artist, the world in which one lives, the materials at hand, the exposure one has had to date and recently are all crucial to the product. No art could have been made any other time than when it was actually made. Any attempt, and its impact would be different on both artist and audience.

2. I just love paint. I love the unending array of colors and textures. I do different things to different kinds of paint and I love watching what happens. I was born with this. My mom has her MFA in ceramics, so art has always been available and encouraged, so my love for color and paint goes back as far as I can remember. In fact my mom tells a story of precocious little me. She walked in to my 2-year-old bedroom with toys all astray and hands on hips she said, “We need to do something about this room.” And I replied, “Yeah, green really isn’t my color.” I also remember a color lesson in kindergarten when the teacher said “Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple,” and I interrupted, “You forgot indigo.” I’ve always been a handful.

3. At first I thought of these as the top “ten”, but ultimately I decided this list is only one thing. I like to push to the edges and find subtlety within the nuances of the following scales: color (dark/light, cool/warm, dull/bright, transparent/opaque), physical and visual texture (thin/thick, smooth/relief, small shapes or marks/big shapes or marks), approach (makes sense/slightly confusing, control/chance, additive/subtractive).  When I work I make sure both ends of each one of these things is represented. The relationships between these elements create tension and cohesion.

4. The scale of the paintings I’m currently working on is so large (at least 32”x48”) that I have to move my body a lot to cover the surface. I use my whole body to move the different paintings around. This whole body movement helps me feel healthy. It literally keeps things flowing, blood and sweat and well as creativity.

Where does your work fit into the contemporary art world?
My work fits in wherever the materials are what the work is about. My paintings are big and bold and I am clearly a child of abstract expressionism, but I also have a lot of differences. (More on this to come.)

If you could have a conversation and studio visit with any artist, living or dead, who would it be, and why?
Brian Rutenberg. He is the only living painter who seriously BLOWS MY MIND. His work is so delicious and intimate (even though they are huge). I have cried every time I’ve seen them in person because they are just so lovely. (Granted, I cry a lot.) The content is very different than that which I’m working on, but the visual impact is unmistakably similar because he includes all of the relationships I seek to achieve formally in my own work. His work is much more tied to a moment in the past. There is a nostalgia that I am not interested in capturing in my own work. But he just seems like down to earth dude and I’d love to meet up with him (and at some point probably will).

What are your ideas and ideologies? How do they fit into your artwork?
Um, ideologies? I only eat vegan food. I’m into monogamy and not into cheaters. I believe gender is a spectrum not a binary. I think Americans are generally naïve and our government is inherently evil. Bicycling is better than driving. I think recycling is a farce but I do it anyway just in case. The other 2 Rs are way more important. I wish people were more upfront and honest and direct and didn't have such a hard time with me being so. I want to dispel the myth that you only need 4 tubes of paint to make any color. I don’t think any of these ideologies are apparent in my work save maybe the latter two indirectly, but, I digress I really have no clue the way things are connected inside my mind. I have restricted access.

What are your artistic strengths? Weaknesses?
I am strong because I am fearless. I don’t hesitate. I don’t believe you can ruin a painting. I think back to the scene in the Ed Harris Pollock when Clem said the painting misses and Jack brings the painting into the living room to change it upon Clem’s whim and Jack can’t. Jack was a wimp.

My weakness used to be that I was searching for a way to put everything I love into one thing, to create one cohesive voice. But I think I beat that last semester when I realized that’s a challenge that really isn’t worth aspiring to, because I actually don’t want to do one thing. That sounds horribly boring. I like doing lots of things. I can focus on one thing and make it what it is/wants to be and then move over to another thing and make it what it is. That back and forth pendulum swing is both who I am (Libra, for sure) and what keeps me interested. I know I sound like a pompous ass, but right now I'm really not seeing any artistic weaknesses. I’m hungry, inspired, motivated, aggressive and focused. My bank account is pretty weak. I’d be doing a lot more if I had more space, but that’s really the only thing that is limiting me right now.  (This is always ebbing and flowing. Talk to me in three weeks, you’ll probably get a very different answer.)

How do you accept new ideas and criticism?
Bring it. I absolutely love criticism of my art, the harsher the better. It makes me eager to defend, break through, and move forward. I have no problem taking or leaving feedback depending on how relevant I think it is. I have very low tolerance for people who can’t hack even the softest of my criticism. I think they are in the wrong field. I’m still honing my tact… As I'm sure you've already picked up that I’m very direct, don’t sugar coat, and sometimes come off a little abrasive. In an online class this is even harder because my delivery in person usually comes with a lot of giggling, open body language, charm, and back and forth discourse that is easier for people to take, which is lost in the anonymity of the web. I haven’t had a single semester here where someone didn’t get bent out of shape due to my feedback. However I’ve taught a ton of continuing ed painting classes and never offended anyone…

What is your level of concentration while you are working on your art?
I’m usually quite in the zone while I work. An onlooker might assume that I’m scattered and all over the place, but I work on a lot of things at once. I don’t like to get too sucked in to any one piece because at the scale I’m currently working, there’s just no point in fussing about. My moves are bold and I rarely know how it’s going to turn out and that is precisely what I love about it.

What are your goals? How do you intend to accomplish them?
UUUUGGGGGh. My junior year of high school, when this question was first posed to me, I started rebelling against it hard. Though I got suspended for my over-the-top and highly inappropriate sarcasm, I consider that I won that battle because I didn’t actually ever state any real goals. I really hate goals. The word just tweaks my “I’m out of here” response. They just don’t work for me. I don’t like preconceived expectations. I don’t like closing the door to the unknown options. I thrive on the unknown option. I want to teach undergrad and keep working. I am good at wanting things, I don't think wanting stuff makes it a Goal. I don’t have a clue where, what kind of institution, what kind of position, what the future of my work entails. I could never have predicted this work 4 years ago… I have some really good human resources to help me with the job hunt. I know it’s grueling, and I’m ready (or will be once I get that tiny piece of paper that says I’m allowed to teach college level).  But beyond that, I’m tapped in the goal department. Every major progression in my life has just randomly popped up, so I’m sticking with that approach.


CONCEPT
Where do you get ideas and inspiration for your work?
I literally take reference from everything I encounter. I’m inspired by good art, bad art, conversation, nature, the city, the interwebs, fashion magazines (vogue and W), runway (I watch all the runway footage from Paris Couture in January and New York, London, and Paris fashion weeks in February and September), strangers, friends, TV (I watch a gross amount, I think teen pop TV, i.e. Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, etc affects this work the most because it's in the current moment), feelings, the lack of something. Once I’ve started a painting I’m inspired by what annoys me.

What do you think about when you are making your art? How are these ideas communicated through the work?
My internal monologue goes something like this:
Is this working? What does it need? This? No. This? Yes! What about now? Well now this part is annoying me. What does it need? Too dark? Add some light. Does that help? Lighter? Ok.

I do not have loftier thoughts than this WHILE I’M PAINTING. I try to keep it visual because that’s all a viewer gets. I leave the thinking and yammering on waxing intellectual until after the painting session is over. I find once the critic walks in, the process is done for.

Why did you make this particular body of work? Is there a background story?
The background story is that I’m obsessed with the things paint does. I love watching it. My paintings are essentially the byproduct of that. I always say I could burn the lot on the lawn. I probably would have already if my mother wouldn’t have cardiac arrest.

How do you categorize your work (political or social statement, natural abstraction, contemporary realism, etc.)?
I consider my work “abstract expressionish”. I believe the first wave of abstract expressionism ended the day Pollock started to drip paint. They sought to distil painting to paint on canvas, and that Pollock did. My work is related to them, because I seek to create a direct channel from the inside of me to the outside of me. I think most Ab-Ex artists were doing that. Art for me is for me. My paintings are a byproduct of my curiosity, fascination, and obsessions.

What images or forms do you use and what do they mean?
The images and forms I use don't mean anything to me. If anyone is going to assign meaning it’s the viewer. Sometimes I draw from life, but I just use whatever is around. It’s not contrived. The visual look of the shapes is important but they aren’t intended represent any bigger meaning.


GENRE (i.e. painting, photography, printmaking, sculpture, etc.)
Why have you chosen to work in this medium?
I love paint. I love junk. Sometimes I use both. If I print, it’s just to get different types of marks, repetition, etc.

How does your choice of genre promote your ideas?
My main idea is “I wonder what happens when I do this with/to paint”. So without paint... well it would be something different altogether.

Do you work realistically or abstractly? Why?
I work abstractly because realism bores me, both to look at and to work on. The closer it is to life the more respect I have for someone else’s patience and the less interest I have in looking at it.


FORM (i.e. epic vs. intimate -- refers to space, scale, shape, structure)
What format and scale do you use and why?
I like my paintings to take over my periphery. In this way I am also connected to Ab-Ex (I have a whole long essay I wrote about how I’m similar to and how I’m different from them.) I like working small in my sketchbooks. I’m always drawing, but I think of that as training. It’s like doing scales if you are a musician. They aren’t anything but they help. Sometimes the drawings end up kind of charming, but still, they are just exercise. I wouldn’t consider it “my work.”

What meanings are implied by your use of form and composition?
I guess a certain intellectualism is implied. Even though my paintings are of nothing, it’s very apparent that the work has been developed over time. There is a sense of build-up, time passing, weaving in and out of itself. I think an art educated person can get as much out of them as a layperson. I like this about them. I think a viewer can tell a lot about me though looking at them. I am not a timid person and my paintings prove it.


PROCESS (technique, method, construction, procedure)
How do you make your work? What techniques are involved?
Add, scrape, build, pour, look, change, rotate, fling, adhere, tear, scrunch, take it outside, let it get rained on, use anything to apply paint, use paint to apply anything, get close, get far away, ask someone, cover up, wipe away, play.

What tools do you use?
I use traditional art tools, kitchen tools, nature, my hands, etc. rags, trash, you name it. I've either used it or will now.

What kind of composition or structure do you use in your work?
"Destroy anything that is annoying" is pretty much the only consistent structure.

How do you use contrast -- color, value, surface, texture?
Obsessively. Every painting must have contrast, but also subtlety.

How do you create illumination? What is your light source?
I use relationships to create light. If something is dark next to it, it looks light. I’ve also been playing with metallics, both metallic pigments and also reflective fabrics, gold only as I don’t want it to get hokey or dated. Gold is never out.


MATERIALS (think about your visual language; materials are a tool for articulating your concept)
What materials do you use to make your work?
Paint, fabric, paper, wood, plastic, metal, found objects, parts of past projects, monoprinting, lino cuts, styro cuts, rubber stamps, literally anything that strikes me. I try to use them in ways that they don’t lead the viewer the think they have meaning. I really prefer my work to be void of meaning. If anything they just give you little tidbits so you can create your own story. Paint is the most important part, fabric and paper tie for second.

What personal connection do you have to the materials?
In this body of work I have little personal connection to the materials. I do want to marry Liquitex green gold (PY129).  We have been involved for a few years now. With only titanium white (PW6) to mix with, it can be dark, light, cool, warm, dull, or bright. It's magical like that!

How do the materials that you choose visually reinforce your concept?
The materials don’t enforce the concept, they ARE the concept.


Final note.
This work is completely gratuitous to me. I work and do things that are less glutinous and self-serving, that require more sustained focus and judgment, but this stuff is my true guts.

The first one is from Abstract and interpretation 3, spring 2010, and the rest are from last semester. In between there I worked too small for it to count for my final review as I proposed 15 at least 32"x48" paintings. I did a lot of drawing and mixed media small, as well as fashion design and fashion illustration. All helping me be a master and subconsciously affecting this.